Lessons from a Hysterectomy Survivor

I've learned quite a bit about myself these last four weeks. My BF Mary thought I should share some of them with you. She even told me about some of these ahead of time so I wouldn't have to find out for myself.

1. Always use a small pillow or folded towel on your tummy when using a seat belt, since the belt will go right over your incision and really hurts. Also, if you have a cat or dog, keep a pillow on your tummy at all times, especially when you're sleeping on your back. They don't realize that stepping on "mom" will send her into shock.

2. Never mix ex-lax with prune juice unless you have nowhere else to go for the rest of the day. It does work, however, if you get desperate. Make sure your doctor has given you a "cleansing" regimen and that you follow it before surgery.

3. Morphine and other narcotics may make you really sick. If this happens, make sure to ask for another pain killer. Narcotics are also constipating (see above) and will give you weird dreams.

4. Use your arms to get up from a lying down or reclining position. If you've had a baby, you know what I'm talking about.

5. Believe the doctor when they say do not pick things up. Don't pick up anything heavier than a toaster and don't pick that up for 6 weeks. Ignore this advice at your own risk!

6. The kids really do know how to do laundry, vacuum and cut the grass despite what they've told you in the past. Entertain yourself by counting the number of times the family can walk past dog puke and not pick it up.

7. Try to have someone with you at the hospital all the time until you can get out of bed yourself... the nurses are so busy you need the extra hand to help do simple things, go track nurses down and help be an advocate. Everyone I've talked to says this one is really important, it was for me. Rick was awesome.

8. It's a good 8 weeks for recovery. Don't allow yourself to believe that you can go shopping (pushing the cart hurts!)or clean anything in your house. Do Not Vacuum! Baby yourself as much as you can the first 2 months.

9. Don't rush into anything, but don't procrastinate either. If you have endometriosis, fibroids, or humongous cysts, indulging in doubts about surgery, and postponing, can turn a laparoscopic surgery into a full abdominal approach (see my previous post on the hysterectomy from hell), since they will use that time to grow and mess up your internal organs.

10. Understand for the first time why men fear women. You've got to be afraid of someone who can bleed like hell for a week and not die.

If you have any other tips, hit "# comments" below and share.